that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
