the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
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he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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