My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
