On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
