A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This house was built for laser tag.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
