Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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