shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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