I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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