i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
