I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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