Screwed.edu
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
