is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
