Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
