i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
