He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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