I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
