I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
