Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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