What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize