Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
