So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
