"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
