if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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