Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
