eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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