It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
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can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
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Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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