That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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