I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
