i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She's the barista slut.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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