Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
