Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
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We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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