you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
