My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
