New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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