I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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