I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
