Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
