Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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