mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
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Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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