Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
