Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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