Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
