my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Sober January is a disaster.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize