Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
