No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
