i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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