ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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