D3 body, D1 cock
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
