i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
