I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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