Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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