One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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