Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
