put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
