The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
