yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
