Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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