Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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