bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
