it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
